Screaming

Screaming

Screaming

Screaming into the abyss.

Screaming so loudly, you can't hear me.

You won't see me.

You won't hear me.

You can't see me, yet the fault is on me.

Screaming so long, I can't hear me.

Screaming so long, I'm gone.

Square 0

Square 0.

Everyone's busy, so I'll just stay here.

I said something weird, so I'll just stand in the corner.

Someone's distressed, so I'll just stay silent and disappear.

Easy.

Square 1.

My small alarm bell is going off, so I'll go ask for help.

I don't know what's happening to me, but someone can help.

Skills aren't working, but there is help.

Harder. 

Square 0.

False alarm, so I've wasted resources.

Said too much, so I'll shut up and shy away.

It's too complicated, so I shouldn't even bother.

I'm too complicated, so I shouldn't even bother.

I'm too much, so I shouldn't even bother.

Hard.

I'm on my own.

All alone, I've stepped back from Square 1.

Do Not Disturb

They don't say it, but they silently scream

"DO NOT DISTURB."

Then my small alarm bell goes off,

And I disturb.

I try hard at everything,

I tried just about everything,

But maybe I didn't try hard enough.

Maybe I don't try hard enough to

Do not disturb.

Intrusive Thoughts

These Intrusive Thoughts never stop.

The classics.

I need to disappear

I'm a cry baby

I'm a waste

I take up too much space

The contemporary.

I'm unlovable

I ask for help too much

I am too much

One day I'll be gone anyway

These Intrusive Thoughts invade my days.

My nights.

My life.

I'll never see the end until it's the end.