Feeling Different

I can't write about how I feel

Because I don't feel a thing.

No, wait.

That's not true.

I feel

Panic.

Anxiety.

Guilt.

Shame.

Tired.

Weak.

The world is no longer

On my shoulders,

But now on my chest.

It's a fight to take each breath.

To take each step.

To comprehend each word. 

It's a nightmare to pick up a pencil.

To write a word down.

To do a math problem.

To write a sentence.

To care so much

I can't care at all,

I want to be normal,

But I know I can't.

I can't function

Like anyone else.

I can't pretend anymore

Like everyone else.

I can't pretend I have it together

Like everyone else.