Accommodation

This college thing?

I've been preparing for it

Since the first grade,

But still

There are so many unknowns.

Why can't I get

A 4-function calculator?

Why don't I know my times tables?

Why do I feel so stupid

That I don't know 3rd grade math?

Why do I still need a notecard

So I can apply formulas

And not spend all my time

Trying to memorize them?

Why don't I feel all the support

People are supposedly 

Giving me?

Why do I feel so alone in this?

Why do I dread

This next chapter in life?

Why can't I move out

Or make him move out

Into a car?

Why are these flashbacks 

Coming back?

Why does my anxiety

Have to be through the roof?

Why can't my mood be stable?

Why can't I just focus? 

Why can't I be normal

Like everyone else?

Why do I feel alone

In my fight to get what I need

For college?

Why do I already dread being 18

Less than 2 months in?

Why can't my college believe

That someone who had an IEP

Took a college math course

In high school?

Why do I feel so stupid?

Why can't I know basic math?

Why do I feel so alone?

Why can't I just be normal?