In the Corner

I did it.
I hid it.
Just until
I got out of
The public eye.

Then,
I'm in the corner,
Vibrating,
Overbreathing
And suffocating,
Begging him
To not hurt me
Even though
I know
He's not in the room.
It's not even
Crossing his mind.

But it doesn't
Feel that way.

He's towering over me,
Fist clenched,
Ready to strike me down,
Lower than I
Already am.

He's ready
To end me.

I'm terrified of death,
But I'm also not.
Earlier,
I didn't care
What happened to me.
Now,
I couldn't care more.

Fight what?
Flee where?
Freeze.
But my blood
Is rushing.
My body
Is urning.

Curled into a ball,
Unable to move,
Unable to breathe,
Unable to speak.

On high alert
For danger
Where there
Is none.
But then
Why do I
Feel like I
Am dying?

Flashback,
But don't know
Where to
Or when to
Or what to.

"I don't know."
I really don't.
Or at least
I don't think I do.
If I do,
I'm scared
I'm talking
Too much
Or too loud
And I should just
"Shut up."

Silence.
That's my answer.
They can read
If they want to listen,
But speaking
Gets me in trouble.
So does not speaking.
But writing.
You show you care
If you're willing to read
And listen.

I did it.
I hid it.
Just until
I got out of
The public eye.
Then,
I lost it.