Masked Subjects

I feel

Like a failure.

I should

Get all my work done.

But I can't.

I can try so hard,

But I just

Can't.

So I overflow

With anxiety

And stress

And frustration

And depression.

It shouldn't

Matter so much.

They're just tests.

But I can't help it.

At night

I'm silently screaming.

I feel

Powerless.

Silent.

Unheard.

But no one seems

To understand.

But tomorrow

I feel

I must pretend I'm fine

Along with everyone else

Holding up their mask.

But I've been working on mine.

It's steel.

But sometimes

It fails.

German

Weighs down

The corners of my mouth.

History

Makes my heart

Stop.

Math is powerful.

Makes my throat close,

Yanks tears

From behind my eyes.

Even the

Subjects I love

Have their moments,

But often because of

No fault of their own.

If only I could

Run.

If only I could

Scream.

If only I could

Breathe.

Maybe I could

Feel alive,

Not

Feeling I'm a rock

In the way of the

Perfect stream of water.

March 10, 2019