Nonsense Verses

The past welcomes me back

With open arms.

Progress made

Seems to go in reverse.

I'm drowning in my thoughts.

The ones I were told were

Lies but

Seem like the truth.

I'm tired of fighting my mind.

The problem is you never

Can win with

Demons seeping in.

I was taught to fight them,

To reassure myself

That I'm

Beautiful and enough.

But how can one be positive,

When the night is so negative?

Is there any point in trying to light a candle

If it's just going to be blown out?

Told to not believe the lie

Of there always being

Abuse and addiction,

I want to believe they are lies.

It's hard not to believe so called "lies"

When you're surrounded by them daily.

When you're struggling daily

It never seems to get better.

But as I write this I realize

It was much worse before.

And while it's still bad now,

I have survived worse.

I've made progress,

And I can make some more.

I've drowned in my thoughts,

But I've learned how to swim.

I've fought the demons,

And I've won before.

I have learned to love myself before,

And I can do it again.

I've learned how to light a lamp,

And make it blaze at the core.

I've learned to see the light in struggle,

And I can find it again.

August 31, 2017